Check Yaself

Breathe in...breathe out...

Okay, that’s a good sign. We’re breathing, we’re all still breathing and we’re here. That’s the bottom line and the life we live in between is the pb to the j in the sandwhich that is living in self love.

I think that recently, self love and self care have become rather popular within our communities - and thank God they have - but in the same breath I also realize that it may have become the popular opinion but not the popular opinion to practice. Self love and self care are more than just a hashtag, they’re more than just a bubble bath after a hard day and they’re definitely more than loving yourself to the point where you can no longer see and accept your flaws. We’re all here to be loved. I believe that. We’re all also here to be changed by love and to grow from each experience that we have in loving ourselves.

So sometimes, we’ve got to check ourselves when nobody else will. For me, I’ve gotten to a point in life where I’m rather confident in myself, my soul and my accomplishments. I’ve come to a point where I feel solid on the foundation that I’ve built and stand on, but I’ve also come to a point of realizing that sometimes I need to reverse, take things a step back and look at what I’m doing, saying and giving off in exchanges with others.

You see, being confident means that you know yourself and accept yourself in all aspects. Knowing myself means I know that I can either spit out sunshine and rainbows or steal the gold from the end. I know that when I’m stressed, I get bitchy. I know that and I’ve started to realize that I need to check that. At times, I don’t see it right away and due to that, I had to take a step back, look at myself and insert what I like to call my Check Yaself Checkpoints...

Check Yaself Checkpoint #1 goes a little something like this:

Amber, you will be stressed often in balancing all of your responsibilities, personal and professional endeavors. When you feel yourself getting to the point of externalizing it, stop and check ya self. Breathe, and make yourself think positively and act so too. Before anyone can even snarl their face up at you and ask “damn what’s wrong with you??” change your mindset. Understand that your stress should not affect someone not guilty of inflicting it.


I also know that I can be very defensive when people offer unsolicited advice to me about my business. It’s when they tell me what I should do vs asking if I’ve done that. But you know what? They are just suggesting and I can simply accept it, say thank you and continue on. This brings me to my Check Yaself Checkpoint#2...

Check Yaself Checkpoint #2 is crucial because as of lately, it has become necessary to check off in about 90% of conversations I find myself taking part goes a little something like this:

Amber, people want to see you shine and they are humble enough to admit that by offering their two cents. They truly want to give you great ideas and see them unfold. Even if you’ve done it already, remember why they’re even bringing it up. I mean, gurl, nobody could be engaging with you at all and that? That would be off-putting.


Since I want to keep this one short (don’t I always?) I’ll end on a high. Knowing myself means I know that I don’t like to ask for help. I like to take projects head on and spearhead my own initiatives, but guess what? I do that out of fear. Fear that someone else may elevate me beyond what I THINK I’m not ready for. This brings me to my last Checkpoint...

Check Yaself Checkpoint #3 is to look in the mirror, get real real close and then yell “ASK FOR HELP GURL YOU NEED IT!!”

Pretty simple. I do.


I hope that you’ll check yaself too.



Header Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels