Based in Chicago, IL. In Her Life is a blog by Amber Snearl. Her posts explore modern ideals of success, politics, personal experiences as a POC, feminism and everyday life.

21 Questions

21 Questions

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My readers keep telling me how sassy my posts are becomingI like it I kinda like that I have "trigger" fingers as of lately I've been doing this thing lately Where... I try to people watch a little harder In everyday life, not just in my spare time I want to see how and what people really say and do when the flush of social media terrors come about like waves in a deep dark sea

So per one of my  last posts I wanted to ask...

Why the 21 questions? Why the interrogation? Why the victim shaming? Why the why??

I overheard someone asking "why now? why are they all coming out and speaking up now?" in reference to the Harvey Weinstein sh*t show

Now while I can't speak for the abused and violated women of the world I can answer on my "why"

So listen carefully

When the line was crossed with me, it shocked me. I almost didn't believe what had happened It was over two years ago now, but just NOW had I even told someone that it happened, let alone realized that IT HAPPENED Why did I take so long to face it?

Why the "delay" if that's what you'd call it?

Here's why for me:

Fear The fear that if you speak up, no one will believe you. Or you will have opened up a wound for no reason at all but to remind yourself of how it got there. Embarrassment How will people react? Will they blame me? Will they ask me how I got into the situation? Most people don't talk about these things, so it's hard to realize that you actually DO have a voice, and that more times than none, that voice is familiar. Pain It hurt then and it hurts now. So like, why? Why make it any worse? Loneliness When it happened you felt alone. Like no one could save you, but YOU saved YOU so YOU keep it to yourself.

When you see someone speaking out on something that you thought you were alone in, it makes you feel at ease...comfortable...wanted...and heard. That's the bottom line of people addressing their similar experiences by the masses.

It's like when we were kids and you got yourself into trouble, but you were scared that your parents would ground you if you told. Only now, we're older and more complex. So that week you took as a kid to polish up your story for your parents turns into weeks, turns into years, turns into...

Well.

So pardon all of our years of living our damn lives trying to get over it and telling you when WE are ready.

Now do you get it? Yeahhhh, you get it ;)

kanye smile

Woah, Man (Pt. 2)

Woah, Man (Pt. 2)

The Problem I have with the Problem You Have With Rap Music

The Problem I have with the Problem You Have With Rap Music