The Power of Not Paying Your Spiritual Debts On Time


This title is a little wordy and kind of all over the place, but I did that on purpose.I want the title to remain open to interpretation. I want you to read to this point and still kind of be confused and thrown off. Are you there yet? Okay...

Should I do the clears throat thing?? That's kind of my thing ;) So...

*Clears throat*

Let's talk about the power of not repaying your spiritual debts on time Now what I mean by this is that as people, as spirits, as souls, as vessels of energy we go through things. We have ups and downs - and if you're like me - more downs than ups, but ups that become sacred and wonderful because there are so few. So since we all go through things, we acquire spiritual debts. Each experience, tacked onto our souls like we're borrowing funds for loans all over again. Only not monetary. The experiences we borrow (and I say borrow, because they are temporary and while they are ours, we give them back in the form of making lemonade from lemons and helping others with similar debts know that they are not alone) these experiences make us who we are, but the silver linings are kind of like debts. You know? Making us feel as if we owe the universe something in return for pulling us through.

Only unlike monetary loans - we don't owe the universe shit. We don't owe social media shit. We don't even owe our closest friends and family shit. Ok? Not. Shit.

But we owe it to ourselves to create a payment plan. A plan good enough to yield the best possible results all the while keeping us on our own pace with no pressure.

(Don't fret - I have my "person". I just pay her by the hour vs leaning on familiar shoulders)

What triggered this thought was the #metoo movement. I have a love/hate relationship with public vulnerability (which, I know, is hypocritical, since I blog & what not) but certain areas weigh a little heavier on me than others. The pressured harmony of it bothers me.

So this movement...

It was like, I want to say #metoo. Because, well that's true...and others are saying theirs. I want to be a part of the cause. I want to tell my story. I want to live my truth. But... I just felt like I didn't owe Facebook and Snapchat and Instagram my #metoo right then.

Hypocriticallll agaiiinn, I know :) because you're reading my #metoo, but you're reading MY #metoo.

Forgive me. I'm human.

But that's all I will say. So now you know, but that's all you get...because for me, it feels more powerful to not act on what you feel you owe the universe. Like the entire story. You'll never get the entire story nor the reason why. I felt better having racked up this debt and not giving two shits about when or if I needed to repay it.

I just felt like I didn't owe anyone my harmonized, well thought out, summarized here it is at a delayed unique Amber form. I had to get over the triggers first.

Everything is everything. Sometimes, you have to stand out, not up.

Xoxo- Ams.