Based in Chicago, IL. In Her Life is a blog by Amber Snearl. Her posts explore modern ideals of success, politics, personal experiences as a POC, feminism and everyday life.

Is Cheating the New Normal?

Is Cheating the New Normal?

trust.jpg

Alright readers...I just couldn't hold this in any longerI just had to sit down and write this... Let's talk about it

Let's talk about cheating & cheaters & all the rest of those involved

Now... Before you think any further, yes, I've cheated too and been cheated on So I've flipped both sides of the coin

coinflip.gif and I understand a lot of it... so even after having been the cheater and the victim myself...I still don't and won't condone it

But... What I want to talk about is staying Staying after the cheating It used to be so taboo You know? Talking about infidelity in your life and your love But... Now we see it everywhere. Beyonce' & Jay-Z both made very successful songs about this and I've gotten the "oh I'm glad they're staying together" and the "oh how could you cheat on Beyonce'??" vibes from damn near everyone who wants to talk about it

And well... Here's what I have to say about cheating/cheaters/being cheated on... (Now while you read, remember I don't speak for the masses, I speak from experience...this is a blog, not a FAQ sheet)

So... To the cheater - figure your shit out and leave hurting others out of it. I cheated because I was selfish. I wanted more, but didn't know how to ask for it and I felt guilty for wanting out of an otherwise "good" relationship. It felt awkward, wanting other things for myself when I had it all in front of me (or so I thought)...so anyway, I cheated out of selfishness and that's just the bottom line. Could I have left? Yes. Should I have left? Double yes. So just leave...figure your shit out and regroup and try as much as you can not to knowingly hurt someone who's probably not hurting you. To the victim Figure out why your partner cheated. Ok? Figure that out....because I've been there and I know that it eats away at you at night. So, yea, why not figure that out. Let it resonate. Figure out YOUR shit too and still leave. Now I know...I know...people change, and feelings do too...but make it a point to leave. I didn't say you can't go back...but make sure you leave. Even if only for a moment. It helps you clear YOUR head and makes the cheater work to fix themselves alone, feel the lack of your presence and hopefully fix what they broke...and if you stay gone, you've made the right choice for you and your happiness. The the person the cheater is cheating with- Well damn...I haven't figured out your side of the pillow yet, but just leave taken folks alone and find someone worth the time and attention that you deserve as a full and complete human being. Don't expect too much...the saying is true in my eyes "how you get em is how you lose em" (shrugs)

So while the world is not black is white...it is what you make it...and to all of those who made it through, big ups 'cuz the sh*t ain't easy...and to those who made it out, bigger ups 'cuz leaving is enough harder.

So I pose the question to you...is cheating the new normal?? Is monogamy becoming a thing of the past?

I'll let this one answer itself ;)

That's all she wrote.

The Magic of Having Good Black Girlfriends

The Magic of Having Good Black Girlfriends

Everything is Everything

Everything is Everything

0