Disappearing Act


Let's be honestHappiness is achievable but not always within reach and not always so natural but nontheless like I said achievable Yup...I'm circling back on my good ol'friend depression again That motherf***er crept up on me again this winter and is back with a vengeance

If you've gone through it...you know It has it's seasons & I am realizing that winter is mine and probably is for a lot of people too

This time it's deep though It's dark If I could put a color to it, I'd say hmmm...a "somber gray" It comes with a serving of fresh break up and a side of I just realized I never wanted to end up working 9-5 and I ended up working a 9-5...

I won't lie I felt like disappearing quite often Not like...I'm going to run away...but like can I just not exist for a few days and come back refreshed and alright again??

So she asked me *Remember "she" is my therapist - refer to a few blog posts back* If I had given medication any thought & in my head I'm like "wtf? hell no" "Can't I get a dog? Or make new friends? Maybe paint 10,000 more pictures this weekend? That'll help right? Right??" but what came out was...Actually I have and I think it'll help (who said that???)

So-I'm feeling good today I slept good..maybe TOO good last night But I'm good...so we shall see where this goes & I'll continue to ponder on medication until I realize it may be what I need (already realized that...but pondering seems to help distract from acceptance)

I never ask for comments , but PLEASE comment your experiences and thoughts below. I know many can relate

XoXo -Ams